I have found myself using the metaphor of planting seeds and everything that happens after that for a lot of things lately. It’s such a spot-on metaphor for so many things in life.
The idea to write about this came to me after talked to a couple of my “new” friends on different occasions this week.
Both occasions involved coffee (well, chai, but you know) and deep and meaningful conversations.
Which I LOVE.
I’m a firm believer of things happening for a reason. And trusting the hindsight will show you the lesson that needed to be learned in every situation, whether it was a joyful or a painful one.
And my most recent hindsight lesson is realising why I so desperately wanted to be able to grow food by planting the seed to harvesting the produce.
It’s because I had to learn about the process of planting the seed and seeing it develop into something viable. Or not. And everything in between.
But mostly accepting that everything that might happen to it happens for a reason and for a seed to grow into a strong seedling and potentially a beautiful and strong plant or tree. And that time, patience, trust, love, and consistency is the process is key for strong and healthy roots. Oh, and water and sun!! But that’s kind of a given (I hope).
It’s applicable to the general cycle of life especially when it comes to relationships.
And this part came up with the 2 friends I’ve mentioned earlier.
The 2 “new” friends.
Both of them were not born or raised here. They simply found themselves here on a path of self-exploration and giving into trusting their intuition to guide them on their paths through life.
Just like myself.
But by doing that we inevitably create the situation for ourselves that we need to plant new seeds in every new place we relocate to. Find new friend groups and even surrogate families. Because without that, life gets lonely.
And it’s pretty easy to start spreading out some seeds. Weeds grow anywhere at any time anyways. There’s always someone to talk to or to have a little banter with.
But those real, deep-rooted relationships like the ones you create in your early childhood with your parents, siblings, maybe even other family members and hometown friends, those kinds of relationships are hard to grow from the seed once you find yourself in your twenties or thirties.
And everywhere you go, the people you meet will have this network around them simply by staying in or circling back to the place where they started.
Little disclaimer here: I do realise not everyone was as happy as I was with a background of a loving family and peaceful childhood. But I hope we can agree that most people do tend to develop these deep-rooted and meaningful relationships in their life with their close family and childhood friends. And for those who didn’t have that chance: I feel very sad and wish it could have been different for them.
And by saying this, I also hope you understand why it’s so confusing for many people why I choose to move to the other side of the world to “find my happiness”. It has absolutely nothing to do with running away from my childhood memories, because they are as perfect as they can get. I just want to emphasise that this is how hard my intuition was pulling me here. Regardless of all the beautiful people and chances I left behind for it.
Anyways, back to the root of the story here (hehe).
Here I am, trying to build these deep and meaningful connections with the people I meet and feel drawn to realising they might not have space in their life to grow such a relationship from scratch.
And that’s fair enough.
Because why would they? They are grounded and have established their safe and secure lives.
Something that I long to have too.
And this is where the metaphor comes in:
I am planting these seeds wishing for deep-rooted connections and relationships. But those take time, patience, trust, love, and consistency. AND WATER AND SUN OF COURSE. That isn’t any less true for humans.
But there’s one more thing: it needs to be a mutual decision.
And this is where “travellers” or “nomads” tend to struggle. Whether it’s a new friendship, a romantic relationship or even a family-like connection, it’s a two-way street. You simply can’t expect everyone with an established life to make time and space in their lives to invest in a new relationship.
Once I feel a connection, I tend to grab onto it and hold them close in my heart from the start.
But if that other person is that person already established their safe and secure lives, chances are that they might not be willing to invest in it as much as I do.
And it’s SO difficult to explain to people who already have established these deeply rooted relationships how scared and lonely it can be sometimes because all I have are beautiful seedlings that might or might not grow into beautiful and healthy relationships.
Yes, I do have those beautiful and deep connections back where I grew up.
But I also know I won’t be happy when I keep living there.
Do you see why it’s so difficult to balance these two extremes out sometimes?
Am I going to choose happiness over comfort and familiarity or the other way around?
So, this is where I can feel incredibly insecure and confused sometimes.
And this is also why every once in a while, the thought of just packing up my stuff and flying back home circles back. It’s not something I want to do, but it’s the self-destructive button in my head that gets pushed when my mind is taken over by various cocktails of hormones and emotions. And the lack of someone to talk to.
And then I talk to 2 of my “new” friends who just get it. They fully and truly get where I’m coming from, and they understand. Because they feel the same.
And all of the sudden I feel less lonely and more understood.
And whether or not these friendships will survive the challenges of distance, different life choices, or any other factor, I know they have great potential. Because we understand and support each other in ways most people can’t even grasp.
So, in conclusion: I am rerooting my life and it comes with challenges and insecurities but it’s beautiful, exciting and, enlightening at the same time.
It’s difficult to balance it all out sometimes, but that’s also the lesson I take from it every single time.
Some seeds will see the sun, some will not.
Some seedlings will thrive, and others will only stick around for a season or two.
Some plants will give me beautiful produce and others will disappear for whatever reason.
Either way, I am grateful for them all. For all the lessons they have all taught me so far.
Xoxo Domi
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