Just go with the flow

“Stop overthinking.”

“Get out of your head.”

“Let go and let life takes its course.”

“Things that need to happen will happen.”

“Just go with the flow!”

Has anyone ever found this as annoying to hear as I have for so long?

But what if I told you, it is possible?

Does that make me annoying too? Yeah, I know. But bear with me.

Sure, it takes quite a bit of time and work to fully shift into that mindset. And even when you master this, it probably doesn’t work all the time and in every situation.

That’s just how life works.

BUT. And this is an important but: you can make it easier for yourself simply by being nicer to yourself. And to others for that matter. And to accept the fact that life will do whatever it wants and there is no way you can control it. Like really, no way.

Question: Have you ever tried to catch the rain with your hands as a kid?

I have. And in all honesty: not just as a kid.

It seems pretty impossible, doesn’t it? But it’s not. I can guarantee you will be able to catch the rain holding your hands like a little bowl if you just stand still in the rain long enough.

BUT WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?

It’s boring. And uncomfortable and tedious. And it takes SOOOO long.

And honestly, what’s the point in the end? I am privileged enough to just open the tap and drink water anytime I want.

It seems like patience is not part of our life anymore.

This mindset isn’t too different from what people do when they try to control a situation into their favour. Trying to force something into the best outcome. Or at least whatever we THINK is the best outcome.

We don't allow ourselves to just let things take its course anymore and for time to tell us what's best rather than trying to rush processes or force outcomes.

Goals need to be reached yesterday and curing seems to be more common than preventing nowadays.

Intermezzo: let's take a moment to appreciate this view... 💛

Imagine applying for a job and it’s your dream job and the ONLY job you’ll ever love in the world.

No pressure, right?

First of all: who’s to say this is the only job you’ll ever love in the world? Second of all: how can you know this is the only job you’ll ever love in the world? And there's more but I think you get the point.

It’s a pretty limiting thought to think there's only one perfect job, isn’t it?

Yet, we do this sort of thinking all the time. Not just for jobs but for choosing a place to live, the friends in our life, a potential partner, the life we want for ourselves.

And truthfully, this is all pretty materialistic and/or ego driven.

Do we really choose these choices for ourselves or are we trying to influence the outcome based on what we think the world around us expects from us? Or will look up upon? Or will be envious of? Or even just impressed?

Are we driving that fancy car because we REALLY love it for ourselves or because we secretly like the way people look at us when we drive it?

Anyways.

I’m drifting off now.

What I’m trying to say is (I use this phrase pretty often I realised, it’s probably because I might push some buttons with my thoughts but I am just trying to find the neutral and simplified common ground for everyone to understand because life can be so complicated sometimes) that the more you try to achieve a goal and you make it seem like it’s the only possible outcome for you to be happy or successful, it’s a setup for potential disaster.

Because yes, it COULD happen that one thing you think you really want works out. Just like the infinite number of other things that you have or haven't considered could just as likely ALSO happen.

And yes, we humans are so great at trying to predict the future based on data and information we already have. And yes, it is a pretty neat tool to pick up on patterns and therefore kinda sorta knowing what might happen next. And yes, we might be right about that outcome sometimes or even often. But notice the MIGHT here. Anything could still happen. And it’s too easy to get tricked into thinking we have it all figured out because we’ve seemingly predicted the most logical or expected outcome so many times in the past.

But things are still and will remain random.

And there subject change at all times. People too for that matter. Especially people. People just don’t like change, but that’s a whole other topic. A topic I like dive into as well. Though, that's something for another time.

But do you see where I’m getting at?

If you can find it within yourself to accept any outcome ever: happy, sad, tragic, inconvenient, annoying, wrong time, or whatever it may be, it can already soften the blow of reality.

Because it merely SEEMS that way at the time it happens. And things will evolve again after whatever happens and looking back you’ll always see why things might have happened.

And sometimes shitty things happen and yes, it is SO difficult to find reasoning in that. But it’ll hurt you more if you keep fighting against things that are out of your control.

Life will always beat you to the punch. You can’t outsmart or out-analyse it. It’s just too random.

Another intermezzo to remember to just breath and enjoy the view

So, with all of that in the back of our minds, going with the flow all of the sudden starts to feel like a pretty cruisy option, doesn’t it?

If you stop caring about the outcome, or at least try to minimise the effect it has on you, and figure out WHY it’s bothering you so much that someone else got your supposed dream job or is dating the person you’ve had a crush on forever, or whatever else inconvenient thing might have happened in your life, you will come a long way and slowly become resistant to your ego trying to convince you to try to control the situation or care about it too much for too long. Because it's always about a situation that already took place OR is likely to happen (at least, according to you ;) ).

Letting go of that control is such a relieve.

AND IT CAN BE SO DARN DIFFICULT TOO.

And the next step is to embrace and experience every emotion that comes up by accepting the situation as it is. Because things will be sad and painful at times. But joyful and bright too.

Things will turn around again, everything flows constantly.

It’s just exhausting thinking of trying to control all of it, isn’t it?

I think it is.

And you’re talking to a former “in her head all the time trying to control all the potential outcomes” human being here.

And by former, I mean “I try but I still have my moments”.

So, there you go.

JUST GO WITH THE FLOW and enjoy all of it.

Xoxo,

Domi