INFJ – Yellow/Purple Aura – Manifestor – Cancer/Gemini – Pitta/Vata
For those who are familiar with these terms, you probably know where the title of this blog is coming from.
For those who are not: I will explain the title of this blog in detail without zooming too deep into the terminology. I do invite you to explore your own personality type(s) based on these personality tests and/or your horoscope. Just to see if it makes sense.
It probably will.
I’ll start with explaining where the terms come from:
INFJ-A ➡️ Myer-Briggs personality test = a personality test with 16 different personality types based on definitions that accurately describe your personality type. I took a free online test here.
Yellow/Purple aura ➡️ I checked which aura colours shine the brightest in and around me here.
Manifestor ➡️ The Manifestor type is part of the Human Design concept which is a spiritual approach combining a few methods to understand people and how their personalities work. I took a free online test here.
Cancer/Gemini ➡️ This is my horoscope based on my birth date, which is 22nd June 1991. The turning point of Gemini to Cancer is on the 21st June, so I also partly identify with Gemini traits as well as Cancer.
Pitta/Vata ➡️ These are my main doshas according to the traditional practice of medicine in India, Ayurveda. I went to an ayurvedic practitioner to discover my dominating dosha(s), which is the most accurate way to find out because they will check some physical characteristics as well as mental ones. You can also do a free online test here.
And I can hear you think “yeah, but once you start reading into all of this, there will always be something in each one of these types you can relate to.”
Well yes, of course, we are still all human and operate in very similar ways. So, we are undeniably similar for the most part.
But it’s also a bit more nuanced than that once you really start looking into it.
How these terms made me feel less like an odd duck
The difference for me personally was that looking into the analysis of each of these types felt like eye opener upon eye opener because it shone a light on some personality traits that had always made me feel different. Like an outsider or an odd duck.
And living with these personality traits but being unaware of the rareness of them, made me doubt the world sometimes. With a very trusting nature, it only made sense to me that everyone around me felt the same kind of compassion and empathy towards everything and everyone in the world. But also feel the heaviness of being responsible for the whole world to be happy.
Well, I was wrong.
No, actually, I wasn’t wrong. Some of those thoughts and ideas almost only occur with some of those personality types and these types actually only represent the smallest percentages of the world population. But I also still believe that most people really want to act out of compassion and empathy and with the right intentions, regardless what their personality type or star sign is. We’re all just being influenced by our own and other people’s opinions and egos sometimes. And that’s also not a bad thing. It’s a good and necessary defence mechanism that will protect us, but it’s the awareness of the ego that seems to be missing amongst some people these days.
But where did the process of realising I was a bit different than the rest start?
At a very young age, I already felt a little different than the rest of the kids. And feeling a little different than the rest of the kids can be confusing. I preferred to play by myself a lot of the time, but I had no problems hanging out with groups. I just went from group to group whenever I felt like it. I was always kind of floating around.
At the time, I thought I didn’t connect with other kids very well, but it wasn’t until later I realised I just got along with everyone but didn’t feel the need to be part of any of the groups. And that annoyed some kids who were desperately trying to be part of a group and sometimes they would then take that frustration out on me. Which caused even more confusion for me. Kids, right?
Anyways.
This cycle kept repeating itself throughout my life, but I didn’t see the pattern quite yet.
And then puberty hit, and my twenties happened. The time where my ego kept taking over every time in the shape of insecurity and “a desperate need to fit in now even though that didn’t feel authentic at all, but still thinking this was just part of growing up”. I forced myself into situations that made me feel uncomfortable but thought this was what adults were supposed to do.
It took about 15 years to realise why I didn’t fit in. 15 years of creating a bigger and bigger gap between my true authentic self and the ego version of myself.
I knew all along I didn’t fit in with the crowds, I just never got to the essence of why I didn’t. And I also couldn’t accept it until I knew the why.
And it wasn’t until my early thirties I started to accept it just was what it was and going back to what feels more authentic to me, felt like a big relief. Quieting down, drink less (or nothing at all anymore at times), seek out silence, practicing yoga, stick to routines, walking around in nature, knitting, writing and trying to inspire others to look at live this way… All of that felt way more natural to me than partying, working a stressful job in a corporate environment, finding someone to start a family with, buy a house, and all of that.
Back to that craving of spending a lot of time on my own
My alone time is essential to live in my own world and to make sense of it.
And to me it’s not boring to be alone.
It’s not tedious either.
It’s an amazing feeling of freedom and joy.
I mean, I like people in general (some people at least, others I’ll just tolerate from a distance).
In fact, I need people in my life just as any other human. Of course I do.
The only difference Is that I feel like I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I want to make the world a better place for everyone and realise how impossible that task can be as an individual. And it can be exhausting to try to come up with ways to change the world and make it a better place without needing to go into politics or be on social media to get the right reach.
So, there you go. Being in my own little world is easier than being confronted with the real world all the time.
How I go about my daily life knowing that about myself.
I keep going back and forward between doing the smallest things I can possibly do, whilst still enjoying life to the fullest, and trying to find a way to spread more love, compassion, and awareness in the world while staying authentic and true to myself.
So, my middle ground is trying to set the right example and accept the fact that I cannot be perfect, nor can anyone. No one can change the world if they don’t put in the work themselves and be patient to see change instead of forcing it on someone.
And besides those heavy “how can I change the world” thoughts, I am also just a simple human trying to surround myself with beautiful like-minded people to spend some time on this planet with while feeling insecure about real-life situations, and dreaming about a self-sufficient off-grid life in a self-built tiny house.
I just want to live in a world where people are free and kind and loving and can live together without conflict or at least are able to put their egos aside and talk about it in a compassionate way.
Utopian thoughts?
Yes.
But I can’t help my brain being wired like this. It’s a blessing and a curse.
And just like everyone else I am subject to rules and regulations. And I don’t intend to break them because I’m just not that kind of person.
And that’s why I like to spend so much time on my own. To maintain balance. To enjoy nature and the cycle of life. Internally and externally. And to dream about a million different versions of the world.
And lastly but not any less important: to avoid being cranky to people for no reason.
Go check those personality tests out, though! You might learn something about yourself like me, get some “aha” moments and know how to be treat yourself and others with more kindness and understanding in the future.
I’m signing off now. Back to the offline world.
Byeeeee!
Xoxo, Domi
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